Maude and Harold have always wanted to share the family pizza, so they take things into their own ha

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No one notice how much they wanted that pizza.The red-and-green box came every Friday. It was delivered right past their noses to the kitchen table. Pizza. Wonderful, marvelous, heavenly pizza! But Harold and Maude never got a single slice.

How they tried. Every Friday the pets put on quite a spectacle. Maude would bob her small yellow head up and down in a feathered frenzy. Harold would circle the table, wagging his tail and batting his eyes. But no one noticed. Not Mr. or Mrs. or even the small one.

“Next Friday, I should just jump onto the table and run off with it,” Harold suggested.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Maude squawked. “They’ll think you’ve gone mad! They’ll scream ‘Mad dog’ and send you away. Then who would rock my cage at night when I can’t sleep?”

Harold sighed. He wasn’t much for jumping on tables anyway.

“Besides,” Maude whispered into the dog’s ear, “I have a plan.”

On Monday, when the family had gone, the two pets met beneath the telephone on the kitchen wall. “Are you with me, big fella?” Maude asked, taking Harold under her wing.

"I will have the usual."Harold gulped. He wasn’t much for plans. Finally he agreed. “I’m with you, Maude,” he said. He tried to sound brave. The big dog stood on his hind legs and took the telephone receiver nervously between his teeth.

“Excellent!” Maude cried.

Harold felt proud. He held the telephone while Maude pecked at the buttons as if they were large square seeds. Each button made a note that sounded like the song Mrs. dialed each time she ordered food.

Maude heard a voice say hello. “Hello,” Maude answered back, sounding just like Mrs.

Then, repeating the same words she’d heard Mrs. use every Friday since she was a chick, Maude placed her order. “I would like the usual,” she told the voice on the phone.

Then Harold hung up the receiver. “We did it!” they cried. “Pizza! Wonderful, marvelous, heavenly pizza!”

It wasn’t long before the doorbell rang. Maude gave Harold some money from the money jar and flew out of sight. Harold opened the door.

“Just give it to the dog!” Maude called from the next room, sounding just like Mrs.

The delivery boy took the slobbery dollar bills from Harold’s mouth and was on his way.

In the kitchen, Harold and Maude stared at the box in disappointment. It wasn’t red and green. “This is the special from The Burger and Shake Barn!” Maude lamented.

Harold sighed.

“We’ll have to try again, Harold,” Maude said. They went back to the phone, and Maude pecked at some different numbers. Then she ordered “the usual.”

Maude was certain the plan would work this time. “Nothing to it,” she said, sucking down a strawberry shake.

Harold stuffed a burger into his mouth. “Nothing to it,” he agreed.
The doorbell rang. But no red-and-green box was delivered. The plan had failed again.

"I will have the usual."“This is from The Mexican Fiesta!” Maude wailed. “I give up,” she cried, waving her wings. “It was a stupid plan. A stupid bird-brained plan!”

But Harold didn’t think so. Harold thought Maude’s plan was brilliant. Bird-brilliant! He picked up the phone once more and wagged his tail bravely at Maude.

“I’m with you, big fella,” Maude said, flying to the phone. Carefully she pecked out another familiar melody. And she did her best imitation of Mrs. yet. “I would like the usual,” she said, sounding more like Mrs. than Mrs. herself.

“Bravo,” Harold barked.

“You are the best,” Maude chirruped. She handed Harold a taco. The two friends nibbled away until the doorbell rang.

Harold gulped down two burritos and bolted for the door. Maude had a large piece of tortilla stuck in her beak and could barely speak. “Just cough give it to the gurgle dog,” she mumbled as well as she could.

Harold spat out some fiesta-flavored money and grabbed the box.

Now Maude was almost too nervous to look. But Harold pranced into the kitchen carrying a red-and-green box. “Pizza!” they both shouted.

"I will have the usual."“Wonderful, marvelous, heavenly pizza!” Maude said.

But something was wrong. “Harold,” Maude confessed, holding her swollen stomach, “I’m afraid I’ve spoiled my appetite.”

“Me, too,” Harold moaned.

The animals decided that a short nap would help.

But Harold and Maude had terrible dreams. They dreamed that someone was eating their pizza. Waking suddenly, they realized that their dreams were not dreams at all.

Maude flew quickly onto Harold’s back. “Go!” she ordered.

Harold galloped to the table and they began to circle. Maude bobbed her head wildly. Harold wagged his tail and batted his eyes into the face of each family member. At last someone noticed!

“How strange,” Mrs. observed.

“I’ve never seen them do that before,” said Mr.

“I think they want some pizza,” the small one decided. Mr. and Mrs. laughed heartily at the thought of a dog and a bird eating pizza. But the small one insisted, so his parents cut two slices for Harold and Maude.

The family watched in amazement as the hungry pets ate their slices eagerly.

“Oh, Harold,” Maude cried, “It is wonderful. It’s wonderful, marvelous, heavenly pizza!”

Harold burped. “It is, Maude. It truly is,” he said.

Now, every Friday, Harold and Maude have pizza, too. And sometimes they even help Mrs. do the ordering.